Bedtime Stories (for people who want to have me committed)
The Great Elf
...was considered a pretentious ne'er-do-well forest creature by the woodsmen. The Great Elf had a pouch and a cloak and could amaze the woodsmen when spinning in a circle. The tale is told by the Emporer himself.
The Lady From The Supermarket
...is Rhonda, who feels that she deserves credit for tolerating her status in life as a retail manager. A deli clerk named Bob stuns her with his domineering perversions and causes her to relive a painful childhood memory.
...was bothered by little things. For him, beasts were friends and friends were beasts. A bit paranoid, or maybe a lot paranoid. Is someone looking?
The Indignant Bastard Troll
...took pity on gypsy moth caterpillar. After springing forth from a toadstool, this troll has an adventure in a supermarket parking lot when a plane crashes into the supermarket and looters storm the aisles.
She'll Piss Herself
...when she reads this. Or so it was hoped. Because the story itself is about her pissing herself and wishing society could accept it.
The Unauthorized Biography Of Mike Bellina
...is about how Mike, the bassist of Two Tales ran away from home as a teenager to join first the circus, then a rodeo. In the story, he meets Matt Pugliese, that other guy from Two Tales.